Keohane Funeral Home

The Value of Journaling While Grieving

July 15, 2023

Following the death of a loved one, dealing with grief and loneliness can be a confusing process. We ache for you as you journey through grief and would like to suggest journaling as one safe place to process what you are going through.

Journaling can benefit mental and emotional health. But, journaling can also improve physical health, as well. According to Psychology Today, “One of the primary benefits of journaling is that it helps relieve stress. A few of its long-term effects including improved immune system functioning, reduced heart rate and blood pressure, and improved sleep.”

Now that we have shared a few of the benefits of journaling, let’s take a few moments to consider the practice of journaling. Here are some suggestions to help you get started.

#1. Choose the best journal for you.

We all have different preferences, so what you choose as a journal will be unique to you. Here are a few options we would like to share with you:

Book

• You may like the feel of paper and a book to hold in your hands. If you choose a book journal, there are usually two types to choose from: a blank journal and a journal with writing prompts. A blank journal allows for complete creativity and spontaneity. Or, you may find that a writing prompt journal would help you think of things to write about. Some examples of writing prompts may include, “The best trip we ever          took together was …” “His voice sounded like …” “She baked the best …” and             “Today I feel …”You may choose to shop for the perfect journal or you may want to use a journal that belonged to your loved one. If it’s already written in, you may continue after their last entry. Above all, make sure you choose a journal that is special to you.

Computer

• You may prefer using your computer, and that’s okay! Whatever feels comfortable for you is what counts. Whether it is typing up a confidential document or sharing your grief publicly on a blog, journaling will help you sort through your thoughts and feelings.
• You may prefer using your computer, and that’s okay! Whatever feels comfortable for you is what counts. Whether it is typing up a confidential document or sharing your grief publicly on a blog, journaling will help you sort through your thoughts and feelings.
• Some people choose to journal in a very public manner. For example, if you have a social media account (i.e., Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram), you may want to post what you are thinking and feeling so that your family and friends can know how you are doing. Not only can you receive immediate feedback and support on social media, but what you write and the sources you share might help someone who reads your posts.

Simple

• Perhaps you like things a little simpler. A basic spiral notebook might be what you are looking for. Wonderful! There is no best way – it’s whatever will help you that counts. You may be more relaxed if you don’t have a fancy journal.

Creative

• Some people like to create their own journal. Creativity can be a wonderful outlet for thoughts and feelings, and the options are endless. Browse in a craft store or on Pinterest to get ideas. You can also look online at websites such as LuLu and PurpleTrail. You can buy materials locally or online. Or, you may want to consider exploring digital scrapbooking (i.e. Check out Shutterfly or KateHadfieldDesigns).

#2. Decide when and where you want to write.

Where and when do you want to use your journal? There may be a set place and time in your home where every day you wish to sit and reflect. Or you may want to grab your journal and venture out to a favorite park or a place where you made memories with your loved one. Maybe a cozy coffee shop or the cemetery would be healing for you. There is no wrong answer here. You may wish to be spontaneous and carry your journal with you so it is available whenever you need and want to write.

#3. Welcome the ups and downs as part of the journey.

Some days you may not feel like writing, and that is perfectly fine. Other times you may write something beautiful. When something comes out that you recognize as beautiful, try to share it with someone else. If you write a poem about your loved one, sharing it with a mutual friend may help both of you remember your loved one together.

Or, you may be surprised at times to discover that not all of your entries are positive. If something toxic comes out, such as unprocessed bad memories, you may use this discovery to help you learn forgiveness.

Your journal is a personal place where you can write freely. There is no need to worry about what others may think or say about it. The sky is the limit! You can doodle, compose heartfelt prayers, make lists, use bullet points, or write prose. You don’t even have to write in complete sentences, and there will be no grammar police coming to check on you. Whatever you feel like writing is perfect because this is your journal, and it is for you.

We would like to close by pointing out that when you are grieving you may feel like you want to be alone; however, too much aloneness is not healthy. You need people and interaction with friends and family during this season of adjustment. You will never stop missing your loved one, but being around encouragers will help life get easier, over time.

If you have any questions or would like to check out our other articles, please visit Keohane Funeral Homes online at https://keohane.com or feel free to call us anytime at 617-773-3551.