Keohane Funeral Home

On Healing: Navigating Grief and Closure for Estranged Relationships

Let’s face it, losing a loved one is never easy. When that loved one was estranged at the time of their passing, the feelings of grief you experience can be overwhelming, complicated by the distance between you. At Keohane, our decades of experience have helped us to understand the unique challenges that arise when mourning a family member or friend from whom you were estranged, whether emotionally or physically distant—and how to process them at an already difficult time.

Our goal is to help you by offering some guidance and support if you’re in the unfortunate circumstance of navigating the journey of grief in the wake of an estranged relationship. This is a more common experience than you may have thought.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s essential to recognize and accept the wide range of emotions you may be experiencing right now. This likely includes a mixture of sadness, anger, guilt, and relief. Your feelings are valid no matter what, and it’s okay to express and process these feelings in your way.
2. Seek Support: Grieving the loss of an estranged loved one can be isolating. You needn’t go through it alone. Reach out to friends, family members, or a therapist who can offer listening in a neutral, non-judgmental way and understanding support. Support groups or online communities can also be valuable resources for connecting with others who are experiencing similar circumstances.
3. Reflect on the Relationship: Take some time to look back at the relationship you had with your loved one, including both the good and the not-so-good aspects. Consider writing a letter to this person that expresses the spectrum of your thoughts and feelings, even if you don’t plan to send it. The act of reflecting deeply on this relationship can help you to achieve closure and find peace within yourself.
4. Focus on Self-Care: Grieving can take a toll on both your emotional and physical well-being, making it vitally important to prioritize your self-care during this difficult period. Make sure you’re getting enough rest, eating well, and participating in activities that bring you comfort and joy. Exercise, meditation, and spending time outdoors in nature can also be a therapeutic way of managing your stress and promoting healing.
5. Let Go of Expectations: Grief is an individual process, and there’s no “right” way to grieve. Healing doesn’t come with a timeline. Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to grieve in your own way, at your own pace. Let go of any expectations or outside pressures to feel or act a certain way. As much as it may be a cliché, know that healing will come with time.
6. Honor Their Memory: Find ways that are meaningful to you to honor and remember your loved one, even if your relationship was strained or distant when they passed on. Light a candle, create a memorial collage, plant a tree, or make a donation in their name. Finding ways to honor their memory can help you feel connected to them and keep their spirit alive in your heart.
7. Forgive: Forgiveness is ultimately a gift you give yourself. If you can find it within yourself to do so, forgive your deceased loved one for whatever offense triggered your estrangement. Forgiving them can allow you to heal faster by letting go of any latent anger you may carry. Holding a grudge only affects you. Releasing it relieves you of the burden of carrying that anger with you.

To be sure, navigating the grief triggered by an estranged relationship can be challenging, yet it’s also an opportunity for growth, healing, and reconciliation within yourself. Remember that you are not alone, and that support and guidance are available locally and online to help you through this difficult period. At Keohane Funeral & Cremation, we’re here to support you throughout your journey toward healing and closure. Please don’t hesitate to ask us for help when you need it.