Healing Hearts: A Guide to Grief Processing and Support

A headstone will stand at your loved one’s final resting place long after the funeral service and burial. Exposure to New England’s four seasons and unpredictable weather can take a toll on the physical beauty of these markers. The Keohane team understands the importance of maintaining these special monuments and want to help you to do so by sharing this detailed guide on how to clean a headstone properly—and respectfully. Preparation: 7 Necessary Items: A soft-bristled brush: A brush with natural fibers is ideal for a delicate cleaning job like this Non-ionic soap: This will be gentle on the stone. Brands including Simple Green, Dr. Bronner’s Castile Soap, and Dawn Liquid Dish Soap are all solid recommendations for you. Water: Use distilled water if possible. It’s safer, especially if you have hard water coming from your tap. A plastic or wooden scraper: This will help you to safely removing any growths on the stone, such as moss or bird droppings. Soft cloths: These will allow you to dry the stone without causing any abrasions. A spray bottle: For the even application of water…and ease of portability. A bucket: To mix your cleaning solution and an easy way to carry all of your cleaning materials back and forth. Step-by-Step Cleaning Instructions: 1. Assess the Stone Before you do any actual cleaning, take a close look at the headstone. If you see any damage to the stone, such as cracks or flaking, you’re advised to consult a professional before attempting to clean it. You don’t want to cause any further damage after all. 2. Wet the Stone Start by spraying the headstone evenly with plenty of water. Doing so will keep the cleaning solution from getting absorbed too deeply into the stone and inadvertently causing damage. 3. Prepare the Cleaning Solution Mix a small amount of the non-ionic soap with water, using the guidelines on the cleaning solution’s label or website. 4. Gently Clean the Stone Take your soft-bristled brush and gently scrub the headstone with the soapy water. Working the brush in a circular motion, start at the bottom of the stone so that you avoid dripping over already cleaned areas, which may cause streaks. 5. Rinse Thoroughly Regularly rinse the headstone with clean water to flush away the dirt and debris you’ve loosened and prevent soap buildup too. 6. Remove Moss and Lichen If you see clumps of moss or lichen, remove them carefully with your scraper. It’s important to be as gentle as possible to avoid scratching the stone. 7. Final Rinse and Dry Once you’ve cleaned the headstone thoroughly and are satisfied with the result, rinse it a final time and pat it dry gently with your soft cloth. Additional Tips: Don’t use harsh chemicals: Never use bleach or acidic cleaners. These can corrode or even cause permanent stains on the stone. Test first: Always test your cleaning method on a small, less visible area of the headstone before proceeding, like the back or very bottom of the stone. Consider the weather: Aim for a cool, cloudy day for this cleaning project. Too much sun can cause rapid drying that will leave residue and streaks. Taking your time to clean a headstone can be a unique way to connect with and remember a loved one. By following these guidelines and cleaning regularly, you’ll honor their memory in a noble way. At a practical level, it’s also a way to protect what can be an expensive tribute. If you have any concerns or need professional assistance, don’t hesitate to contact a Keohane team member with your questions. We're here to help preserve the legacies of your loved ones.

A new trend has emerged in the last few years in which people choose to alter the approach to the end-of-life. The Living Funeral is a customized service that enables people to celebrate their lives with their family and friends while still here to enjoy this deeply meaningful experience. Living funerals offer a unique chance to embrace a full life, create more lasting memories, and spark open conversations about death. Embracing Life and Creating Special Memories More than a simple gathering, a living funeral is a celebration of one’s life. It’s a chance for you to look back on your journey through life, share your stories, and bask in love and appreciation from family and friends alike. Celebrations like these may include your favorite foods, music, and hobbies that hold special meaning for you. Rather than the typical somber funeral service, a living funeral is an opportunity to create an environment that’s filled with joy and warm nostalgia. The impact of a living funeral like this is profound—and profoundly positive. It allows your family and circle of friends to express their gratitude, heal old wounds in relationships, and find closure where it’s needed, while the opportunity still exists. If you’re the honoree, it’s an affirmation of your life and legacy, giving you a sense of comfort and peace during a time that may otherwise be filled with uncertainty. For your loved ones, it’s a cherished opportunity to say “thank you” and “I love you,” knowing that their words will be heard and felt. The Benefits of Speaking Openly About Death One of the key benefits of a living funeral is the chance it affords you to speak openly about death. Death is a taboo subject in many cultures and often avoided in conversation. Yet discussing death in plain terms can lead to a deeper understanding and acceptance of life’s natural cycle. Embracing this kind of open dialogue allows you to share your wishes for end-of-life care, funeral arrangements and charitable beneficiaries you’d like to acknowledge, and how you wish to be remembered. This transparency can alleviate the burden on your loved ones who might otherwise struggle having to make these decisions during a time of intense grief. In a way, it’s one more gift to your loved ones before you pass. Plus, speaking openly about death may reduce your fear and anxiety about it. It may encourage you to live more fully and appreciate the present moment and inspire the people attending to live their lives in a similar fashion. Creating a Legacy of Love and Acceptance A living funeral can be a beautiful way to create a legacy of love and acceptance. It’s often a testament to a life well-lived and a special reminder of the impact you may have had on the lives of people in your family and network of friends. It allows you to leave these folks more than just memories; you’re also giving a sense of closure and peace. This growing trend of living funerals offers a transformative approach to the end of life. It celebrates your journey, cements meaningful connections, and encourages open conversations about death. At Keohane, we believe in honoring life in all of its stages. If you’re considering a living funeral or are curious to learn more, please contact us. We’re here to support you and your loved ones and help you create a celebration that reflects the beauty and significance of your life.

Family structures are more diverse than ever these days. As our society evolves, our traditions and practices need to evolve with them, including the ways in which we honor our loved ones when they pass on. We believe that memorial services ought to be inclusive, respectful, and reflective of the unique relationships that make up every family we serve. In this blog, we'll share with you how to incorporate these varied family structures into funeral ceremonies, enabling you to acknowledge and honor each of these special relationships. Recognizing the Diversity of Modern Families Modern families exist in many forms, such as blended families, single-parent families, LGBTQ+ families, families with adopted children, and more. Perhaps you recognize your family structure here? It's essential that we recognize and validate these diverse structures during memorial services so that everyone feels included and respected. Open Communication One of the most important steps when you’re planning an inclusive memorial service is open communication. Engaging each family member early in the planning process creates an opportunity to understand their individual desires and perspectives. Doing so can help you make sure that no one feels they’ve been excluded during an already difficult time emotionally. Encouraging your family members to share stories, memories, and special traditions that can be incorporated into the service helps to create a sense of inclusivity that can lift everyone’s spirits during an otherwise challenging period. Personalize the Ceremony Having gathered anecdotes and cherished memories from your family members, personalizing the ceremony to reflect the unique life and relationships of the deceased leads to deeply meaningful ways to honor their memory. Here are three such examples for you to consider: 1. Custom Eulogies: Invite multiple family members and close friends to share their own memories, or offer a eulogy. This allows for a richer, more diverse representation of the deceased's life and relationships. 2. Photo Displays: Create a photo collage or video that includes pictures from all stages of their life (if available), celebrating friendships, family events, special moments, and highlighting the connections among these various relationships that made a significant impact on the deceased's life. 3. Symbolic Gestures: Incorporate symbolic gestures that hold special meaning for different family members, like lighting candles, releasing balloons, creating a fundraising event, or planting a tree or garden in memory of the loved one. Inclusive Rituals and Traditions Weaving diverse rituals and traditions into the memorial service can help provide another way to respect and honor any cultural and religious backgrounds within your family. A few ways to do this include: 1. Multicultural Elements: If the deceased or your family members come from different cultural backgrounds, consider including some elements from these cultures in the ceremony. This could include representative music, readings from treasured books, or traditional rituals. 2. Interfaith Considerations: If your family includes members of various faiths, find ways to incorporate interfaith prayers or rituals, or readings that honor the beliefs of all family members. 3. Non-Religious Options: Some families prefer a non-religious service that focuses on celebrating the life and values of the deceased through personal anecdots, music, and meaningful activities. For instance, was the decedent a Deadhead? Including music from a favorite show could be a lovely way to celebrate this aspect of them. Respecting Unique Relationships Every relationship is a unique relationship, with its own dynamics. It’s important to acknowledge and honor these connections during the memorial service. Consider these: 1. Acknowledging All Relationships: Make sure that the service acknowledges and honors all significant relationships in the deceased's life, regardless of their structure (biological, adopted, chosen, or otherwise). 2. Inclusive Language: Use inclusive language that respects the dynamics of your family structure and relationships. Avoid assumptions about roles or titles, and be mindful of how different family members may identify. It’s okay to ask family members or close friends how they’d prefer to be addressed! 3. Special Roles: Is it possible to give different family members and friends special roles, such as reading a poem, performing a song, or leading an aspect of the service? This can to a long way in ensuring that everyone feels involved and recognized. Creating a Welcoming Atmosphere Creating a welcoming and inclusive atmosphere is a vital key for a successful and respectful memorial service: 1. Venue Considerations: Choose a venue that’s accessible and welcoming to all of your family members and friends, including those with disabilities or special needs. Consider that some attendees may need to bring a care provider with them. 2. Hospitality: It’s important that all guests feel welcome and comfortable attending the memorial. Hospitality may include offering refreshments, having a sign-in book, or offering grief support for those who may need it. 3. Sensitivity and Empathy: Approach the planning and execution of the service with sensitivity and empathy. This is a very emotional time for everyone involved, after all. Kindness matters here more than ever. The Keohane team is committed to helping families like yours to create inclusive, respectful, and meaningful memorial services that will honor the unique lives and relationships of your loved ones. In embracing diverse family structures, we can be certain that every service is a true reflection of the individual being celebrated.

First responders hold a special place of honor in South Shore communities. The courage, selflessness, and dedication our police officers, firefighters, paramedics, and EMTs show every day in protecting and serving others defines heroism. The Keohane team understands the importance of honoring these remarkable people when they make the ultimate sacrifice in their service. Planning funerals and memorials for our first responders involves a number of special considerations to ensure tribute is paid appropriately to their service and secure their legacy with the utmost respect.

At Keohane, we understand the importance of these family heirlooms. We know that they’re more than simply objects; they are repositories of memories, stories, and emotions. Whether a vintage locket worn by your great-grandmother or a baby blanket passed down through the generations, each heirloom holds a piece of your family’s narrative. They serve as tangible connections to our ancestry, reminding us of who we are and who they were.

Losing someone you love, whether a family member or friend, is one of life’s most complex challenges. As the swirl of emotions envelops you, there often comes a moment in which you’ll find yourself standing before a crowd of family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances, tasked with delivering a eulogy that captures the essence of who the departed was in a relatively brief tribute. The weight of this responsibility can be immense, yet it is also an opportunity for you to honor and celebrate a life well-lived; in doing so, you’re creating a shared moment for the community of mourners to remember the deceased in a sharply defined way. Crafting a eulogy is an art form—a form that requires deep reflection, an awareness of the audience, and a profound understanding of the person you’re honoring.

Let’s face it, losing a loved one is never easy. When that loved one was estranged at the time of their passing, the feelings of grief you experience can be overwhelming, complicated by the distance between you. At Keohane, our decades of experience have helped us to understand the unique challenges that arise when mourning a family member or friend from whom you were estranged, whether emotionally or physically distant—and how to process them at an already difficult time.

Losing a loved one is one of life’s deepest emotional experiences. Sharing your expressions of sympathy and support can provide the grieving with a sense of comfort and community . Funeral flowers have long been embraced as a means of adding beauty to a somber atmosphere as well as often providing a profound symbolic meaning to the family and close friends of the departed.

For many of us, grief can feel like a journey that we are navigating alone. But within sorrow, we’re often able to find solace in the power of community. By uniting during times of loss, communities can become a source of comfort, understanding, and strength for those traveling the path of mourning.