Elizabeth J. Reilly

On Tuesday August 18, Elizabeth J. Reilly passed quietly in her sleep. Born December 20, 1918 to Michael Walsh, an Irishman from Ballina in County Mayo and Rose Walsh of Brookline, “Bette” as she was known was raised in a cold water flat in the Whiskey Point section of Brookline with her older siblings James, Florence and Frank and younger brother Thomas, who went by Bud. Later the family moved to Jamaica Plain.

 After high school she worked at White Fuel and in the typing pool at Sears and Roebuck. There she met Mary, who would become her closet friend and often would tell of Bette gingerly strolling down the street with her hair still in curlers just barely catching the morning bus to work. Bette was not to be rushed, a trait she held tightly.

In 1945 she married her true love, Frank W. Reilly, a navy veteran from West Gouldsboro Maine. They settled in Jamaica Plain and raised three children, Deborah Jarnis married to Robert, Pamela Swierk married to Walter (deceased) and the youngest Paul Reilly, married to Claire. With a mother’s love, Bette was proud of the many accomplishments of her children. Their mother’s love, all three siblings will admit, has been overshadowed by that for her six grandsons: John and his wife Jill, Matt, Justin and his wife Mallory, Jarrod, Evan, and Tim. They all adored their “Nani”, but in turn they also had to accept being eclipsed by Betty’s five great-grandchildren: Megan, Jackson, Maisie, Reilly, and Niko. When she called her children, she asked for the grandsons. When she talked with the grandsons, she asked for the great grandkids, remembering each one’s name and what they were doing right through the end even as many other things began to fade.

She and Frank had a wide circle of family and friends, “Club” as they referred to themselves. “Club” included friends from Brighton, Southie and all parts of Greater Boston. Also included were Mary and her husband Charlie, Bette’s Brother Bud, who now called his sister “Tish” and his wife Julie as well Julie’s brother Jack, his wife Eleanor as well as Dot , John, Jack and Peggy. “Club” remained close for decades. From those of “Club” we have met, and the many stories Bette would tell, “Club” was very special in her life.

There is a line in the Serenity Prayer about accepting those things one cannot change. Bette embraced this faithfully. She remained strong, outwardly unflustered and yes serene during the many tragedies and disappointments that can enter our lives, such as when she lost her husband Frank at an early age and then managed to raise her family while maintaining her independence.  She worked hard not to let life’s roadblocks and hurdles take control. Now a snowstorm that cancelled her weekly hairdresser appointment was another thing altogether. 

Betty was a generous person. When her sister Florence was recuperating from a difficult surgery, Bette opened her home. She cared for Florence during the week so that Florence’s husband could still work. When her brother Frank passed leaving three young children, she again opened her home. This time to her nephew Frankie, whom she fostered and made welcome in her home, except of course when Frankie and Paul played the Beatles much too often and certainly much too loud. “That’s not music” she would say as she turned on Old Blue Eyes, a pleasure she enjoyed her entire adult life.

Bette could be particular. There were things that had to be just so. As well as her hair, we all can remember Bette saying things such as “This blouse doesn’t match my slacks” just as she was about to leave the house. And at nearly every meal; “Not too much. I only want a small portion.” And “That’s too much!” when served no matter how hard one tried to downsize her plate. 

Bette was all about the Boston sports teams. She followed them all. Later she focused on the Red Sox and the Patriots. She was an ardent, not a passive fan. Watching the Red Sox, she was known to criticize the plate umpire for missing a call on a pitch, a call that went against the Sox. More than once you could hear Betty snap as she watched the Patriots, “That team’s playing dirty!”

What we all understood about Bette was how very likable she was. She did not complain, she rarely judged or criticized, not openly at least and except for those whose attention to dress did not match hers “Didn’t she look in the mirror before she left the house”. These traits allowed her to be a welcomed member of “Club” and an important, necessary participant in the weekly family gatherings.

In her later years, after the passing of her brother Bud, his wife Julie, Mary and too many members of “Club”, she became the matriarch of both her extended family and all their close friends. It was not ordained, it simply happened. Those who had witnessed her compassion in their own time of need; Frankie’s brother Craig and sister Corinne, Mary’s children Barbara, Kathy, Patricia, Robert and Richard, Bud’s only son Thomas and Florence’s three children, Peter, Bobby and Donna Marie, all grown now, many with kids and grandkids of their own, saw Bette in the shadow of their own mothers. There was a warmth, deep respect, and appreciation for Bette.

Bette considered everyone in her extended family and their friends as special. All could feel their unique and special bond with her. Although she would never admit it, Bette had a special place for her niece Donna Marie. 

Somehow, as Bette aged, she did not grow old. She remained easy to talk with. Always interested. Always listening. Her serenity, compassion and out-right likability, traits she carried with her throughout her long life made her a favorite with so many. Bette’ circle of admirers and well-wishes continued to grow. 

Elizabeth J. Reilly, Bette, will be missed and fondly remembered by very many people. Her life will be celebrated.

Relatives and friends are respectfully invited to the Funeral Mass in St. Mary of the Sacred Heart Church, Hanover at 10 AM. In lieu of flowers, donations in memory of Elizabeth may be made to your local food bank.